Showing posts with label monica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monica. Show all posts

Mar 2, 2010

Who am I?

Who is the woman behind the blog? Everyone is different in real life than how they are perceived on their blog. So here is a brutally honest post that lets you take a peek into who I am. Oh goodness I hope don't lose any readers after this.

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I am:

  • blunt to a fault (seriously someone shut me up)
  • opinionated (this one and the first one don't always mix well)
  • very open about my life and past hardships
  • painfully shy (which can be perceived as something very different)
  • blessed 
  • insecure
  • loved
  • feisty (it's the Irish in me)
  • driven
  • insecure in my ability as a mother
  • insecure in my ability as a wife, sister, daughter, daughter in law, sister in law, and friend
  • loyal to those I love
  • forgiven 
  • competitive not with games more like in life. (does that make sense)
  • sooo stinkin' forgetful (I HATE this about myself....absolutely hate it. I need more fish oil)
  • a survivor of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. (all of which happened in childhood)
  • scared to love and let my guard down with anyone 
  • very guarded
  • misunderstood
  • protective
  • 5'2...short
  • sensitive
  • missing my dear girl friends that moved away
 Looking at the list there are multiple things I want to change. There are many of these that I lay at the feet of Jesus. Everyday I need to pray "Jesus make me more like you.....I want to be like you."

Jun 3, 2009

I have a new name..


My new name is mom. It was a long road and I have been a little under the weather to say the least. But finally I can update. Thank you all once again for your prayers. Initially when deciding to go with the induction my platelet count was ok. At 6:40 am on monday they broke my water. I wasn't getting great contractions so they had to start the pitocin. Which makes your contractions a lot stronger! I labored naturally till 12:45. After 6 hours of the worst pain I've ever felt and I was only dilated to a four, I asked for the epidural. (in a not so polite way) If you've noticed a pattern nothing seems to go according to the books when it's come to me and this process. So it should have been no surprise that when the anesthesiologist was giving me the epidural he had to go in twice. He said that it took him twice as long and he had to go in twice to finally get it. Yes I was having horrible contractions during this time. He said it was the hardest epidural he's given in all the years he's been doing it. I was hoping to get some rest after the epidural but I was shaking so bad I couldn't rest. I went into labor already exhausted from the weekend and having no rest and eating very little. (because we kept going back and for from c-section to induction they didn't want me to eat anything) I was able to get a few cat naps in between the shakes. At 5 pm I was finally fully dilated and ready to push. My sister and hubby were with me the entire time. I pushed for an hour and half. There he was screaming loud! Almost immediately the doctor was concerned. I wasn't clotting. They worked on me for a while and gave different medications to try and get the bleeding under control. They finally did but I had lost a lot of blood. I felt completely drained and I was incredibly swollen. My face looked like a bowling ball. :)  
Afterwards they put me on this horrible stuff called magnesium sulfate. A complication of high blood pressure is seizures. Magnesium sulfate combats that. They told me it would make me feel like I had the flu. Like I already didn't feel that way. But it did make me feel like I weighed 1,000 pounds. I couldn't lift my body or even my eye lids. Everything felt heavy. Yes, this was after the epidural wore off. I was exhausted from laboring and with this I didn't have a chance. I did have a wonderful nurse that helped me nurse little man. I was unable to hold him on my own and nurse him. 
I wasn't the only one causing trouble. After little man as born he had to be monitored by the NICU because he was breathing really fast and hard. He was eventually given a good report. He also has jaundice. So he is has to keep a UV light under his shirt. If you don't know what that is take a look at this link. It's fairly common in newborns. He's doing great though and I can't get enough of him! 
None of this was how I wanted things to go. But God was not surprised and He orchestrated some great people to help a long the way. Several of my nurses ended up being believers. They all went the extra mile knowing my situation. The nurse that stood on her feet by my bedside helping me nurse little man was 9 months pregnant!! Friends and family have been great too! We've been getting messages through hubby's phone from people saying they're praying and encouraging us. It's been amazing watching the body of Christ work. 
I am still in need of prayer. Here's another medical term to go along with platelets. My hemoglobin levels are low along with my platelets. We later found out that my platelet count during delivery had dropped to 74.....the lowest it's ever been. Back to my hemoglobin. It was explained to me that this is my overall blood level and with all the blood loss it's low and it's not climbing back up like they want it to. So please be praying that my test tomorrow show it's climbing otherwise I have to stay in the hospital and I am ready to go home!!!!!!
I apologize for any typos I'm not going to go back and proof read this. I am going to lay down. I will post pictures soon when the internet is working better.

Be praying for my lab results in the morning so we can go home finally as a family!!
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