Oct 15, 2009

Pregnancy and Infant loss Remembrance Day

Today is a day that is nationally recognized as the day to remember pregnancy and infant loss.

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes."

I had my loss March 17, 2008. I wrote about it here. It was my first time to be pregnant and we had wanted a baby so bad! I had taken more pregnancy tests than I care to count. All of them had been negative but when I first had my positive my joy was through the roof! Only 5 days after finding out I was pregnant I had a miscarriage. I felt like my heart would stop beating. I became depressed and didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. But I eventually was able to praise God for the life he had created and praise Him for his sovereignty. Even though His plan looked very different from what I wanted.

Every woman grieves their loss differently. Since I didn't have a headstone I could go to, I needed something tangible to honor my baby's life. I bought a necklace with this charm. It is the "mother's love" charm. In my heart I was a mother, only my child was not here with me on earth. I wore  also to remind myself to trust the Lord that one day I will have a child here on earth. (and praise the Lord I finally do!)

It doesn't matter what stage of your pregnancy you had your loss. Your loss was a life and that life was significant. Now that baby is resting in the arms of the Saviour. One day we will meet our little ones there!

I don't know if it's something you ever "get over". I know women that after 35 years they still feel the pain. With time we learn we have to move forward. And just because we move forward doesn't mean that we have forgotten our losses. We will never forget and in honor of his/her short life we must live. Though we won't hold them in our arms, we will forever hold them in our hearts!

If you have had a loss leave a comment (if you feel comfortable) in memory of your little one and so we can pray for you!


  1. Hey Sweet Monica,

    I'm going to go read about "your loss" now.... but, will you add a link to help this sweet mama?

    Read here:

  2. Hey I am sorry about you loss. I am responding to a comment you left on my blog. My niece Addilyn is in the NICU, she was born early at 33 weeks with underdeveloped lungs, she also has omphalachele where her organs are on the outside of the body and she has a hole in her heart. She is currently stable but it will be a long process to get the organs back in and where they are supposed to be and get her off a ventilator since as the organs are put back in they swell and make breathing on her own impossible. Thank you for the prayers, Brittany

  3. Oh the reminder of days. I love to remember my sweet Jordan. We had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant for our third child. We had given up and honestly weren't thinking about getting pg anymore when to my suprise I got a positive on a pg test. Our excitement was over the top and our girls were also very excited. When we went in for our 20 week u/s we took the girls with us and the tech was very quiet and said that he thought something was wrong with the machine(we were the first appt of the morning so this didn't seem odd) He returned with the DR and they informed us that the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing a few weeks prior. We were induced later that day and gave birth to a still baby boy on April 15th, 2006. We later named him Jordan and although we also have no headstone I have an angel baby necklace that I wear to remember my first boy. We have since had another boy. James was 2 in July and we cherish every moment knowing it may not have been this way. I cherish this day as one of the few days for Jordan. thank you for the reminder and the place to remember today

  4. Thanks for your beautiful words today girl. They touched my heart as I'm remembering my two little angels today as well.

    Much love,

  5. I had no idea there was a month to remember the loss of a child. What a wonderful thing.

    I still remember when I went in for my US and the tech said "I'm sorry. There's no heartbeat." Those words echoed in my mind like bricks smashing on concrete. I was completely devastated. I had wanted this baby so badly and felt like my prayers were finally answered after such a long struggle. To lose the baby was almost more than I could bear. I couldn't understand, and it took prayers from me and my family, faith in the Lord, and an understanding of His plan for me to feel like I had finally healed. Yet, I cry as I write this remembering. I had to learn (again) that there is a reason for everything. The understanding I have of this life and what happens is so small compared to the eternal perspective of my Heavenly Father.

    "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." -Elder Wirthlin, Oct. 2008 Conference

  6. I'm sorry for your loss. My cousin and sister in law went through it and I can't imagine how it must feel. My prayers are with you!

  7. I'm so sorry for every parent who has lost a child! I don't imagine it ever stops hurting. It's been over two years and another pregnancy (healthy birth) since my miscarriage and I still can't talk about it without crying.

  8. Thank you to everyone that shared their story. Prayers were lifted up for you!


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