This has been the hardest day of my life. I don't know how I've made it. God is gracious and faithful and gave me the strength I needed to get through it. I've been at the clinic for 13 hours today and just left. God gave me the strength I needed to make it through, but as soon as I left I started crying and I am still weeping as I write. I don't even know where to begin, but please just pray for rest tonight and strength tomorrow. I barely got any sleep last night because of the tremors. Everything that I felt or heard scared me and I thought we were going to have another one. There have been some significant tremors today as well, but its less scary if you are up and able to run outside quickly. I just feel trapped in my bed and I would prefer to sleep outside, but I don't know that would help my worries that much. Whenever I'm not in the clinic or working on something I am scared and emotional. I know that all of us here on the compound are suffering to some extent from Post traumatic stress. We were flooded with patients yesterday as soon as the shaking stopped. I have never seen such pain and suffering. I pray that I will never have to see that much trauma ever again. I'm thankful that we are safe and that we are not in PAP because we would be completely overrun and I don't know that I have the strength to deal with that. I KNOW the Lord was my strength and shield today and yesterday and will be tomorrow. I know that at least one man that we treated yesterday died in the night and a lady that we have been caring for since 11am this morning died about 2 hours ago. We all gathered around and prayed over her and her boyfriend as she died, and I can't even begin to express the pain felt in that room. The only thing that gives me strength and hope is that I know where my strength and hope lies.
Its easy to think that the worst is over, but there is so much need and devastation that I don't know how we could ever begin to help them all. All of them need hospitals, but the few hospitals that survived the quake are overrun by people. On top of that those that could get to a hospital don't have money to pay for care. we don't know what to do with the woman that died in the clinic tonight because her boyfriend doesn't have the money to pay to have her moved or buried. I assisted in 3 major surgeries today and I know there will be more to come. I don't know if you've been watching CNN, but they keep showing a picture of a boy covered in cement ash. That is what most of our patients look like. They have cement embedded in their wounds and a nearby flour mill exploded, so many of our patients are covered in burns, cement dust, and flour. Please pray for strength. I've heard that we are supposed to get 2,000lbs of medical supplies tomorrow on an airplane and we are praying that there will be orthopedists and anesthesiologists on that plane as well, because even with supplies that doesn't make us surgeons. We've splinted countless legs and arms and sewed up as many wounds as you can count. We don't have the anesthesia necessary to help these people adequately, so they are going through an incredible amount of pain. I know the Lord is with these people because there is no way that they could have survived short of a miracle. Many people have not heard about their families. The 4 Haitian doctors that have been a complete miracle and blessing from the Lord have not been able to hear from their families and they are all very worried. They might to tomorrow to see if they can locate their families, so please be praying for them and for us if they are missing from the clinic tomorrow.
I don't know what else to say other than Pray pray pray. Pray for:
-strength for us as we open our clinic doors again tomorrow. (sometimes that's the hardest part. We are ok when we are working, but the anticipation of knowing what's coming can be the worst.)
-rest for me and the rest of the team and the entire country. Every time I lay down I get scared and can feel the aftershocks. And when I do sleep I have earthquake dreams. We just had a pretty significant aftershock 10 minutes ago (8:30 our time here in Haiti ), but I feel tremors almost every minute or so.
-Pray for peace and safety for those left in the cold tonight with no where to stay (its a very cold night considering that we are in Haiti .)
-Pray for those still buried that are alive and for the families of those that have not heard from their loved ones and those that have loved ones that have died.
I love you all. This has been a horrific 30 hours, but I know that the Lord is my rock and redeemer. He is my strength and my shield, and he is my strong tower that no earthquake can shake.
I will try and update tomorrow. Please send to all. feel free to update my facebook
Love you and I wish you were here to hug me!
P.S. If anyone has information about Gersan and Betty and their church and Pascal and Dorthy I would love to know that they are all alright. I am praying for them, but if I could get specifics that would be great too. I heard that Gersan and Betty are ok, but not about my other friends and their church. Also if anyone has talked with those in Limbe I'd love to hear that too. I know that was probably far enough away that they are ok, but I'd still like to know.
Jan 14, 2010
**A camp in south Texas (Frontier Camp) that we greatly support sent a team of people to Haiti last week to do a mission trip. Friends of ours went on this trip. 44 hours after they departed Haiti to go back to Texas the earthquake hit! Here is an email of someone from the team that stayed in Haiti and survived the earthquake. Her name is Noelle Gonzalez. Be praying!