Jun 28, 2011

Pillow Talk: Part 3

*****This post is for married ladies only! Thanks! *******

It's been a while since I had a pillow talk post. Um..it's been over a year. Yikes! I'm hoping to get this ball rolling again.

Comparison always breeds discontentment.

Let that sink in for a minute. The woman that leads a bible study I attend stopped us all in our tracks with that statement. The game of comparison is so easy to play but in this game nobody wins. It's another tactic that satan uses to bring us down. Think about how many times he has used this tactic to attack our marriages.

When you see that a friend's husband bought her flowers is your first thought "Well, my husband hasn't bought me flowers in a while. Why isn't he as romantic as her husband." That one thought can lead to yet another comparison and another demeaning thought about your husband. Which can snowball into having a bad attitude toward our husband or worse you could become a contemptuous wife.

Please hear this. Your husband will always fall short when compared to your idea of a perfect husband. So often we will to compare him to good qualities of different husbands in an attempt to create an imaginary perfect husband that will give us everything we could ever want. Romance, love, material things, children, social status, and we could fill the blank with numerous worldly desires. All the desires (also known as idols) that you think will make you happy. Can you hear how self-centered that sounds?

Ladies the men you compare your husband to are human too. And they are just as flawed as yours but you don't get to see that side of them. They leave the sink a mess after shaving, leave their shoes in the walk way so you trip on them, spend too much time watching sports, make many mistakes financially and spiritually.

Stop the insanity. You will never be content with your husband if you don't stop the comparison game.

So what does this post have to do with the Pillow Talk series?


Most men have a daily struggle with lust which can affect intimacy. Women, although different we have a struggle that is just as destructive. For women sex is so much more mental than visual. If we have been demeaning our husband by comparing him, our attitude and heart towards him will be anywhere but in the intimate mindset. Some women will go as far as to hold out on their husbands as some sort of punishment because of the bitterness their discontentment has caused.

Ladies, let's get honest with ourselves. It's not our husbands that we are unhappy with, it's God. And where He has you in your life. Now you may be saying "I'm not unhappy with Jesus. I'm upset with my husband for forgetting to take the trash out, forgetting our anniversary or missing out on that promotion." Is God not in control of everything? Could it be that the little annoyances or big annoyances are God's way of showing us our sin? So that we may grow and learn and in return further the Gospel. What is God trying to teach you in your relationship to your husband?

Comparison always breeds discontentment in marriage.


  1. GREAT post, Monica! such a wonderful reminder and what a tough subject to tackle but you did it perfectly. Well done!

  2. FANTASTIC post! I've missed this series. You tackled a really sticky subject absolutely perfectly. I think we are ALL guilty of comparison at one point or another. But I know that when I start comparing my husband to someone else, or to this picture in my head, we don't get along. And the fault, is all mine.

  3. I love this post times 1,000. I actually think I am going to link to this post and talk about this on my blog!

  4. Wow this is a great post. So insightful...you can definitely tell that God was guiding your fingers and thoughts. :)

  5. Actually...like Tara said...I'm going to share a link to this blog on MY blog because I want all my married friends to read this. So I'll be sending traffic your way. :)

  6. Excellent post Monica! Thank you for writing this!


  7. Completely agree! I have had to stop myself from doing this in the past- it is never a good thing!

  8. Thank you for posting your thoughts on contentment in a marriage and how important it is! It made me stop and think. Thank you!

  9. I worded it a bit differently but with the same message: IT IS DEADLY TO A MARRIAGE TO "KEEP SCORE". You know what I mean?

    "I did X for you twice but you only did Y for me once."

    If we can stop that sort of thinking, our marriages are bound to improve!!!

    Thanks for posting this. And let me "plug" a post with an important message:


    Thanks, and God bless you!!!

  10. Preach it sister!!! Love pillow talk!!!


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