It's night time and the lights are out in the house. You don't want to wake you spouse up by turning on the light but you can't sleep and need to get up. You hope that if you go sit in the living room for a while and read or watch TV you will get tired. So instead of turning on the lights you walk with your hands out to feel the familiar. There's the nightstand with your favorite book on top, you can feel the soft carpet between your toes, making your way to the door you feel your dresser up against the wall and finally you reach the door and turn the knob. It's familiar, you've walked this room a hundred times. You know exactly where the dresser, the nightstand, bed and the stool at the end of your bed are located, even with the lights out.
I struggle with change, good or bad and there has been a lot of change in the last year. Between deaths, weddings, two new sister in laws, moving homes, leaving our church and changes in friendships, I've been struggling to process it all. "You're an adult. Grow up get over it!" this is what I tell myself all the time. I wish it were that easy. I'm a deep person. I love deeply, feel deeply and hurt deeply.
I feel like someone turned out the lights and moved all the furniture around. It's new territory and I am unfamiliar with the new layout. It takes me time to get used to my surroundings and the new changes.
This post is probably making no sense to you but for some reason I needed to get it out. Thinking that I will somehow make sense of all these uneasy emotions I have been feeling. Thanks for reading, those of you who have stuck around despite my lack of posting. I appreciate you. :)